Focus In Action

Edmonton Oilers - Connor McDavid

Seeing Connor McDavid play allows everyone to see how quick he can be.  In this photo, we can’t see anyone around him; he is flying down the ice rink, and it is up to his opponents, on this night, the San Jose Sharks (December  21st, 2024), to stop him.  You can see he is moving, focusing on the player in front of him while he is heading to get to the puck.  His play is entertaining because he can weave around many opponents and often score for his team and our Edmonton Oilers.  I love the Oilers, and I also love the Sharks.  I happily follow a team on top of the league and one that is currently not so high in the NHL Western Conference standings. No worries!  Both appeal to me for various reasons, and that’s a story for another day.

What do we know about Connor?

Let’s get back to the matter at hand and how we focus.  Can we get distracted easily?  Do we start tasks and rarely finish them?  Do you procrastinate and ruminate over things that make it difficult to make decisions and live with them? Our emotions can be all over the map.  I offer Conner McDavid as a symbol of what we might strive to be.  Connor can sometimes be found in the gym alone because he wants to put in some extra time to be fit and ready for the next challenge.  He has people he can talk to when he needs to figure out what might need to be changed or tweaked. He is known to be fair on the ice and is not one to start a fight.  He is highly focused. He knows where he is always on the ice and can read where other offensive players may skate. He can navigate them as if he is in a school sports day obstacle race.  The show is entertaining and uplifting when he is successful.

What can we learn from Connor?

How can we be like Connor? Granted, we can’t all be superstars, but can we take anything from his career?  One thing is that it takes time to be good.  Dedication to the task at hand is necessary even with all the aptitude and skill in the world.  If Connor is injured physically, he must heed the advice of his medical and health teams.  He must embrace the wisdom of his coaches.  While Connor is, I think, one of the fastest hockey skaters in the world, he must, at times, slow down and reflect on what matters to him.  He must consider his body but also his mind and spirit.  We have seen him disappointed, and we have seen him trying to motivate his fellow teammates. We have seen him jubilant, and we have seen him shy and quiet.  There are many more facets to his personality.  I can only offer comments from what I have observed, but I like what I see.  We can learn from him and realize that there are times that will be good for us and times that will feel hard and soul-crushing.  We need to find people in our lives to whom we can turn and share how we think and feel.  We must learn, if we haven’t already, how to be open to listening and considering the perspectives of those around us who might know us even better at times than we know ourselves.

All of us have stressful lives

Hockey players have colourful lives, but they can also be stressful. This can be true of many sportspeople. Have you seen Full Swing on Netflix? It captures the pressures that professional golfers face.  Wouldn’t you think golf has to be the most leisurely game out there?  As the joke goes, how could it be so hard when the ball isn’t even moving before you must hit it?  But we can see that even for those engaged in professional PGA and other golf tournaments, the toll on emotional and mental health can be immense.  Everyone loves sports heroes when they are successful, but are people still kind when they are handing over the puck or missing the hole? Hockey, golf, and so many other sports are like our lives.  We are not necessarily in the spotlight like they are, but we can feel very pressured at work.  We can feel at times that all eyes are on us.  We can feel the weight of the burden of responsibility, and to juggle that sometimes with the demands from other areas of our lives can be hard to bear. Many people feel at their wit’s end, and they can create, to cope, unhealthy habits to try and numb or escape from the external pressures that they are experiencing.  So how can people, how can you, and how can I learn to cope and manage life’s stressors? How can we focus while in action?

Moving forward with focus

Like Connor McDavid, we must learn to remain calm in the face of opposition or be like Irish golfer Shane Lowrie, who exhibits a sense of humour, being open to examining our lives and the patterns that work for us.  Counselling can be a welcoming place to be like sports professionals, to have someone who can discuss your strengths and aspects of your emotional health to feel in control.  You are not Connor or Shane, but you are you.  That might sound fluffy, but if you can’t cheer for yourself, will others be able to?  You don’t want to become cocky, but being more confident and self-assured and regulated emotionally, you will still be humble and a nice person.  Being built up by others is excellent, but finding ways to do it yourself, with the help of counselling initially, is the ultimate cup and trophy.